Dollar Menunaires! This is the age of cheap bastards!
I must have been asleep at the wheel, because when did being a cheap ass bastard become so cool again? McDonald’s is leading this trend like a general in battle, and is downright unapologetic about it. Just take a look at their latest ad. It states “If your shampoo is a collection of hotel minis or you own inflatable furniture, you might be a Dollar Menunaire.” True, but it also may mean that you are staying home greasing your palms on Saturday night. Given that “thrifty” is the trendy thing, I came up with my own list of ways to push it to a whole new level.
How to tell if you are a Dollar Menunaire:
If you flipped your underwear inside out twice, before you decide to do laundry.
If your shampoo is a collection of hotel minis, and your towels are embroidered with Motel 6, and your Bible says Property of Comfort Inn.
If you wash and reuse plastic utensils. My uncle does this. Really.
If you break open a pack of Juicy Fruit, just so you can give five treats out to five different kids on Halloween. My neighbor does this. Really.
If you refuse to call your wife back before 9pm on your cellphone to avoid extra charges, even if she’s about to deliver a baby. My friend did this. Really.
If the watch you own says Rolax, and the shoes you wear says Reebak, and the tattoo Cheap Charlie gave you says “I love moma”.
I will say this, McDonald’s new website for the Dollar Menunaire is pretty darn hilarious. Had I been drinking a 32 oz of coke, it would have surely come out my nose, from laughing so far.
This interesting little piece came from Pop Rox and in no way was made by me, that is why it is under the stolen category :P
Filed under Stolen |
May 5th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
I wonder if stealing a hotel bible is considered a sin or if the fact that one steals the bible to use it outweighs the fact that it’s stolen… Although, because most bibles from hotels are donated and regularly replaced, someone once told me it was okay…
Washing plastic utensils is actually a pretty good idea, most are pretty sturdy and it reduces waste. There’s a chicken restaurant that I always go to (not KFC) that always gives you a packet with cutlery, a moist towelette, and condiments. I always keep the unopened ones and reuse the cutlery; it last for ages…
This is a pretty boring comment, eh? Rambling on about plasticware… :P
Anyways, love the blog so far Cody. Dugg!
Cheers mate,
Dustin
May 5th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Haha.
I ate McDonalds today actually.
I feel 50 pounds heavier and covered in grease.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I have another one for this, even if it is a stolen entry. My grandmother washes plastic wrap and reuses it.